How to bring yourself back to the positive state? I’m feeling extremely down recently

I come from Belarus and live in Germany for 3 years. And 7 years outside of Belarus. I’m still learning German, and recently I feel very foreign. I have had all possible complications with my documents, even though I’m married to a German and have a well paid job. I’m feeling like I’m on some black strike, being extremely unlucky. And that makes me very very sad and I’m not being myself. I don’t want to do/learn anything or go anywhere :( and I don’t know how to get out of this :( I also miss my home a lot and I can’t go back due to the world situation :( I’m scared and sad :(
Asked by Anastasia
Answered
10/25/2022

Hello, thank you for reaching out with your question.  What you are feeling is completely normal under the circumstances.  Sometimes, a NEW creates a fear of the "unknown".  We don't have the benefit of "experience" to guide our way.  It does feel "foreign" because it IS.   

Three years is relatively a short period of time when you consider a new language, new location, and new culture.  It's important during these times to focus on what you "DO KNOW":  your husband and your relationship together,  a job that pays well for a job well done (work ethic), and you have "YOURSELF".  YOU are your greatest asset.  Consider the qualities that make you - YOU.  A new location doesn't change that. 

Explore using these qualities to develop a NEW COMMUNITY.  Community:  people of like ideas, like interest, and/or goals.  You may have to start in your workplace.  Also, recognize the importance of staying connected to old loved ones with a phone call, facetime or email.  

Also, taking care of the "details" can also be a contributing factor to resolving fear and anxiety.  You mentioned "documents" - explore what is necessary to minimize "complications" to this effort.   Oftentimes, unresolved matters pull from our "energy reserve" that we need for positive and productive living.  

Therapy would be a good place to explore your fears and the feelings of sadness.  Therapy can help to identify your belief system and assess if new systems of belief would be beneficial. 

Belief systems are developed through the following:  1)  credible people in our lives (family, best friend, Boss, Pastor, etc. 2) Environment (our surroundings, the culture, etc.) and 3) Repeated events - doing different things and getting the SAME outcomes. 

The challenge with this is sometimes our experiences can send us a FALSE MESSAGE.  Then we've built a belief system around concepts/ideas that have NO FOUNDATION TRUTH to them.   We then have the task of tearing down the wrong belief system and then building a new one in the areas needed.  

Through therapy you can identify any thought patterns that contribute to the way you're feeling and develop effective coping mechanisms, (strategies) to overcome them.    Good mental and emotional health is possible ~ with work and time.....  

I hope this response has helped in some way.

(MS, CRC, LCMHC)