What do I do with despair?

You stated, “When my partner leaves on trips and I’m home alone I can’t sleep and feelings of despair overwhelm me.” It seems you are having difficulty finding your rhythm without your partner. Despair can be defined as a ball on negative energy that weighs you down. It can impact all areas of your life emotionally, socially, professionally, and physically. Albert Einstein said, “Energy cannot be created or destroyed; it can only be changed from one form to another.” Therefore, try to find a way to convert that negative energy into positive energy. Figure out the things that truly make you happy reading, singing, dancing, drawing, helping others, running, whatever makes you feel alive inside.

Someone once said that grief and despair is love with no place to go. Direct all that love/energy you have inside to others in need. The world needs you and your gifts. Find your rhythm in life by discovering your superpowers. You can even use that energy to learn a new skill or take up a new hobby. It is important when the feeling of despair rears its ugly head you are able to recognize it and label it. For example, "I am feeling despair because my partner is away on a trip." Then you can reframe it. "I miss my partner, and when he or she returns, I am going to shower them with love." Words are truly more powerful than any two-edged sword. Therefore, be careful with the words you tell yourself.

I would recommend leaning on your support system to get you through those tough times. You were able to pinpoint the absence of your partner as a trigger for you. Therefore, it is a good idea to set goal for yourself during those times. I often ask my clients what makes a good friend? They are often able to flow like a river about the qualities of a good friend honesty, supportive, understanding, encouraging, and available. After they state all the beautiful characteristics of a good friend, I flip the question and tell them to be a good friend to themselves.