How to deal with depression

Hi Pachita,

That is a lot of loss to deal with in such a short time.  It's no wonder you feel depressed.  Grief and depression are closely related, kind of like "soul sisters."

This is a time to be very gentle with yourself and invest heavily in your own self-care.  It may take some time before you feel like "yourself" again, and you will be changed by this experience, you cannot help but be changed by this experience.  Are there people in your life that can support you right now? It is ok to lean on others in times like this.  It might also be helpful to join a grief support group,  sometimes local hospitals offer them, usually for free or a very nominal cost.  While you may feel like being alone, isolating yourself can feed depression, so try to reach out to people in your life who you feel safe with.  You don't have to talk about it, if you don't want to, just being with others and being quiet is still better than being alone.  Make sure that you are eating regularly and sleeping regularly as much as you are able to.  You may not feel like it, but it is important.  Keeping a journal or writing letters to the loved ones you have lost can also be helpful.  Sometimes getting your feelings outside of yourself and on paper can be really helpful as well. 

There will come a time when you will have more good days than bad days,  when you will think of them and smile rather than cry.  That day may feel far off right now, but it will come.  Grief comes and goes in waves,  but that also means that it goes in waves,  there will be times when you feel ok.  When you start to feel better it doesn't mean that you don't care about them or you are forgetting them,  it means that you are healing.  You will carry them in your heart and your soul always, your relationship with them will change,  but it will not end.  Can you spend time with your mother at least digitally like on facetime or Zoom?  That may make the distance feel shorter.  The Holidays are coming up,  that can be a particularly hard time for people who are grieving, so try to make plans for that time and reach out for support as needed. 

I am so sorry that you are carrying so much loss, please know that you are not alone and feel free to reach out here as well, people are here to help you anytime you need it. 

-Dr. Suzan McEnany