Ask a therapist > Eating Disorders > I am unable to maintain weight loss. I have done dozens of diets, including WLS. lose, then gain back

I am unable to maintain weight loss. I have done dozens of diets, including WLS. lose, then gain back

I am 66 yo female who always had 10-20 pounds extra until age 45 when I weighed up to 230. Why do I do this? I have had years of therapy to deal with depression and anxiety I have learned a lot in therapy but the weight I cannot overcome. My mother put a lot of emphasis on appearances.
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Asked by Georgia
Eating Disorders
Anxiety
Answered
06/01/2022

I'm sorry to hear you're struggling with weight loss. It seems to be an age old problem.

I am assuming since you've done a lot of therapy to address anxiety and depression, that eating your feelings is not the issue. I would encourage you to explore your eating habits to discover what about eating or what you're eating is doing for you? Do you enjoy the dining experience. Do you sit at a table, a restaurant, in front of the TV? Are there certain food groups or meals that you're drawn to that provide you more satiety or pleasure. If you compared this to smoking, often times when people stop smoking, they miss the social aspects - going out with friends or colleagues to smoke, they miss doing it at a bar, the miss the hand to mouth action which you also experience with eating. Some people really enjoy chewing. Others hate feeling hungry and to avoid that feeling, will eat to excess to stay full. Sometimes weight issues aren't about eating your feelings, they're about the experiences. 

Also, sometimes people keep weight on as a way to physically protect themselves, often as a result of trauma. Some people feel if they're in bigger bodies, then they're protected from attention from people who remind them of the people who may have hurt them. 

A lot of times, weight issues are so subconscious that it can take a very long time to really get down to the heart of the issue. Have there been any other things in your life that have contributed to your weight gain - changes in activity levels, changes in lifestyle? Maybe those changes in your life has contributed to weight gain almost imperceptibly and it's been harder to identify and therefore harder to adjust.

Hopefully these insights will help you to explore a bit more the root causes of your gains as well as your struggles with your losses. Unfortunately it seems that weight issues can be life long issues and the causes can evolve throughout our different life stages.

I think self-awareness is a wonderful place to start and with continued attention, you should be able to make progress. Best wishes.

(LCSW)