How do I deal with a family who loves gossip and creating drama?

Good afternoon Ben, and thank you so much for your question. 

Now, to get down to answering your question, and sharing some strategies that can be helpful, I would first like to share that dealing with gossip and drama within a family unit is not uncommon at all. I want to commend you for wanting to separate and remove yourself from that. One helpful strategy can be to just not involve yourself in any of the drama, almost like letting it fall off of your back like rain drops on a roof. Telling yourself something positive, or providing yourself with reminders can be helpful to not get sucked into those negative or gossiping conversations. Recognizing when your family is starting to gossip, or if their conversations are becoming too toxic for you, can be a great first step in recognizing that you should leave the room, or just share that you do not want to be a part of this conversation. 

Another method that maybe helpful is to try to change the conversation, or introduce positives into the conversation. If your family starts to talk negatively about someone, you could interject with a positive about that person, or try to change the subject to something more light hearted. I believe that you know the people in your family well enough to know which topics or ideas they would be most receptive to if you were to try to change the topic of conversation. 

Another strategy that could be helpful is using humor, or "playing along" with the conversation. Saying something along the lines of subtle validation like "uh-huh", "yea", "wow, that's wild", can be helpful transition words that present the idea that you are listening to their conversation, when in reality you are checked out and just "playing along."

Now when it comes to managing your mood and emotions when you get upset or frustrated with their gossip and toxicity, I would encourage you to find an activity, or to think of something positive that can help prevent you from being "sucked" into their conversation. Only you can control how you feel, and by giving yourself a strong visualization or focus on positive things, you can help navigate through any negative feelings that come up when you are present during their conversations. Also, having a go to activity can be helpful to take your mind off of their negative discussions, while removing yourself from the situation.

I hope you found my feedback and recommendations helpful. Thank you for your question and for your time!