How can I express my feelings and thoughts without feeling guilty or sad about it?

Hello,

Great to meet you and this is a question that would be great to work through in therapy, there's a lot going on in this question and I can imagine some of the challenges you may be facing. There is not a simple solution in reality and some strategies may work and others may not, it's worth remembering to keep trying to maintain and apply consistent boundaries. 

We all go through periods where we need different things in our life's journey, and when we need different things from our healing process and firstly this is really normal, you don't have to rush. Take some time to consider what you want and what you need. It's important to remember some social contact is vital to resilience and recovery also. 

I hear you say you're unsure of how to state this, and I appreciate this can be a difficult part of all of our journey especially when we don't want to cause any offense, however this unclear communication can cause more issues than setting out a clear boundary. 

If you have not been setting clear boundaries in the past this can be really difficult to start with, if you take some time to consider what you are comfortable with and for how long where and when, this may be a starting point for your journey. Taking time to consider which boundaries are a priority to you and start practicing these it becomes easier over time.

When considering boundaries, be confident in knowing what you want to start with. This helps and supports you to confidently create these. 

Planning can also be really important in creating boundaries, when and where are these issues going to come up and can you meet for a time limited period, practice some phrases like, 'I only have 30 minutes I have some tasks to complete/work to do/appointment'. 

It can be really helpful to be honest in your communication as well, if you are struggling with a certain boundary or issue it may be worth taking some time to consider why this is a problem and what you want from the person to resolve the issue or boundary. 

It's always worth remembering you are in control of the information you communicate with whoever you chose to, again it may be helpful to consider some phrases that you wish to remember for when these issues come up. An example may be, 'I appreciate you asking that question, I really value my personal space at the moment and would prefer to talk about something else'. 

I hope this helps, each situation is different and I hope this response helps to some degree. 

Take good care

Neil