How can I reach out to friends again after a long period of no communication (from my behalf)?

Hi there, 

I hope you are well and thank you for sharing your question with us. 

I can see that there has been a disconnection between you and your friends due to your own mental health, as well as the further challenges brought by the pandemic. There can be lots of reasons why we distance ourselves from our peers in times of difficulty. It can be a way of protecting ourselves or them, during our challenging times. This can also lead to feelings of isolation and loneliness. From your message, I am sensing that the last few years have been filled with some challenges for you which led to you feeling unable to keep in contact with your friends, so you distanced yourself. 

As time has gone on, you are now in a place where you feel ready to reconnect with them however, the thought of doing so, appears to be bringing up some internal struggles for you. I wonder what is preventing you from getting in touch with them? Perhaps you are worried about what they will think or say, after the time that has passed? Perhaps there are questions to be answered you don't have the answers for? Maybe they will just simply embrace you back into the friendship, just like old times? 

It can be helpful to write down our worries or the things that are limiting us or preventing us from doing things we feel we would like to. Sometimes this can lead to a greater sense of what is troubling us and why? This can then lead to us finding resolutions... For example; you could ask yourself what is the worst that could happen if I get in touch with my friends? Equally, what is the best thing that could happen? Is it worth taking that step and trying?

Understanding our worries or our apprehensions to situations can also help us to further understand ourselves and where we are at. It can also help us to seek resolutions to these challenges in order to overcome them. 

It's ok to be apprehensive, scared, afraid, uncertain, unsure, stuck, worried, anxious, excited, nervous and a whole host of other feelings at the idea of reconnecting with people you have lost touch with. The choice is always yours as to whether to take that step or not. If you don't how would that feel? What would that mean? If you do how would that feel? What would that mean?

Ultimately, there is no right or wrong way to say "Hey, I'm here, I missed you". There may be some questions to be answered - but again, the way you go about answering questions you may be presented with, is your choice. Ask yourself what you want to achieve out of reconnecting with these friends. That's your starting point. 

Then consider how can you reconnect with them - there are lots of ways to do this... do what feels best for you at this time. 

You've got this!!! 

I hope this has been useful but please do get in touch if you have further questions. 

Thanks 

Kim