How does a person not be a loner?

I think as we get older, it definitely becomes more difficult to make friends.  We do not have as many opportunities to make friends like we do when we are in school as young children or even when we are in college.  I think we sometimes have to think outside of the box in finding ways to make friends when we get older.   

First and foremost you have to get out of the house and put yourself in situations and places where there are people who you could eventually become friends with.  Everyone has the ability to make friends, whether you are an extrovert or an introvert. 

Some examples of places and ways one can make friends include: volunteering in the community, meeting friends on apps such as Bumble BFF or meet up, getting involved in club or community sports, going to church or making friends at work. We need to try to find a place to meet people who may have similar interests as you do. Once we find a place to make friends, it is important to make connections with them. 

We can make connections by being friendly, making eye contact, smiling, being curious by asking them questions about themselves, being a good listener, showing an interest in who they, what they enjoy, and also finding out the things that you have in common with them.  It is also important to share information about yourself with others and it is helpful to be vulnerable at times. Sometimes we have to push ourselves out of our comfort zone and put ourselves out there in order to meet new people. It can often be scary to put yourself out there to meet new people and make new friends.

The most important thing is to be oneself and to not overthink what we are saying and doing and become too anxious.  Being overly anxious will often make us overthink things and cause us to be too hard on ourselves.  Remember, sometimes it only takes making friends with one person and this will open up opportunities to meet more people through them.