I'm good at meeting new people but after time we meet i feel like i did something wrong

Hi Solly! Thank you for asking this valuable question on the BetterHelp platform! It is a really good sign that you are reaching out for support on the "Ask a Licensed Therapist " forum. I can tell that you are able to recognize your strengths, including that you are good at meeting new people. What are some of your other positive traits and qualities? It appears that after you have initially connected with someone new, the connection does not seem to be sustained. When did you begin to notice this trend happening? I hope that I can offer you some guidance and direction in response to your question.

Based on what you shared in your question, I can tell that you would like to improve your socialization skills and learn how to foster healthy friendships with others. It sounds like you would like to make long lasting, positive connections with the people that you meet. This is a wonderful goal that you have set for yourself. 
I would be interested in hearing more about your experiences with meeting new people. What are some of your personal strategies for building rapport, gaining trust and establishing connections with the individuals whom you meet? How and where do you like to meet others? Take some time to reflect on your most recent experiences, as well as your past experiences, when it comes to meeting new people.

I understand that you have been noticing these thoughts arise that you may have done something wrong after you have already met someone new. This kind of thinking is likely connected to your neural network, particularly your core belief system. Core beliefs are typically developed in early childhood or during adolescence and can be pervasive in various aspects of life. Core beliefs can be positive, such as "I am a good person" or negative and maladaptive, such as "I am not good enough." Take some time to reflect on your personal core belief system because it may be different for everyone.

Try to identify a touch stone (first time) experience that explains where your core beliefs may have originated from. The therapists on the BetterHelp platform have some really great worksheets developed by Therapist Aid that they can use on the topic of examining core beliefs. If you choose to start therapy, you can inquire about these resources once you are matched with a therapist.

It also sounds like you could benefit from learning more about the principles of cognitive behavioral therapy (CBT). The foundation of CBT is that human thoughts, feelings and behaviors are interrelated and connected. It would be ideal if you could explore more in depth about the thought that you might have done some thing wrong after meeting new people. It sounds like the thoughts that you have been having are intrusive and may also be automatic. I would like to introduce you to the concept of Automatic Negative Thoughts (ANTs), which is a principle of CBT. ANTs are oftentimes pervasive patterns of thinking that cause significant distress and difficulty for individuals due to their recurrent and cyclical nature.

The first few steps of managing ANTs are to recognize that these thoughts are disruptive, determine a willingness to explore the thoughts and develop a realistic plan for change. One way in which ANTs can be unraveled is through positive thinking, such as self affirming statements.

Here is the link to an article that addresses the concept of ANTs:

https://positivepsychology.com/challenging-automatic-thoughts-positive-thoughts-worksheets/

I realize that you have considered the possibility that ADHD could be a contributing factor for the situation. When were you first diagnosed with ADHD? What are some of your symptoms of ADHD? Would you say that the ADHD symptoms that you have been experiencing impact your social or occupational functioning? Ideally you could continue to explore more about this diagnosis.

I would like to encourage you to take some time to explore some creative interventions. Some ideas that come to mind include: journaling, therapeutic drawing, collage, sculpting with clay and dance or movement techniques. Make an inventory about the qualities that you harbor as a friend. Make a list or reflect on this through therapeutic writing. You may want to draw a picture of your ideal friendship. Draw a house, a tree and a person. These projective drawing techniques can assist you in better understanding your personal world view.

In addition, it could be helpful for you to create an identity collage as a means for advancing the process of self discovery. Build a sculpture out of clay that represents what you expect that you could be doing wrong. Dance while listening to music and utilize movement as a means to recreate experiences in which you have doubted yourself. As human beings, we tend to have a natural affinity to recreate experiences in order to more fully and consciously process what we have endured in our lifetime.

At this time, I would like to recommend that you begin attending individuals therapy sessions on a weekly or bi-weekly basis. It will likely benefit you to have a trained therapist to talk with about your concerns, learn new strategies for social skills as well as explore your perceptions and beliefs of yourself and your world views. In addition, it would be wonderful if you could join a therapy group or attend a groupinar. Group therapy sessions have the added benefit of connecting with other individuals in a therapeutic setting. By joining a group session, you will also be able to practice and implement the socialization skills that you learn learn about in individual counseling.

Thank you so much for your time reaching out for support on the topic of meeting new people! I am so glad that you have brought this question here. I hope that my response has been helpful for you in some way. I want to wish you all the best on your therapeutic journey of self exploration! Thank you again and have a great day! Take care.