Im the problem arent I?

Hello and thank you for asking a question here on BetterHelp. This is a very good question to ask, it shows that you have some really good insights that there could be a problem with the way you are engaging with people. I would also like to say that it's awesome that you want to change this, I will explain it more in detail later, but I tell everybody I work with how incredibly important it is that we have good interest for the friends in our life. Essentially what I'm saying is that I agree with you that this is something you need to improve. Now to answer your initial question, is it you that's the problem? Maybe, maybe not, but we do know that you are the solution. The key to you to getting out and making more friends and having good close friendships is completely up to you, you are the only person that can fix it. I'm going to have some words of advice for you but I think it's best if we talk a little bit about therapy first. 
Whenever you start talking about just usually this it inevitably leads to other issues you didn't even think about. Because of this I would strongly recommend that you talk to a therapist about this concern and see what else lies at the root of the problem. It's very easy to get linked with a therapist of your own with BetterHelp- all you have to do is click on the get started button on the homepage and follow the prompts from there. You will answer several questions about yourself and will then be matched with a therapist. If you don't like the therapist you are linked with, then you're more than welcome to choose one on your own or ask to be paired to somebody else. A therapist can help you recognize toxic behavior in your life that maybe you thought was completely normal, and they can help you recognize barriers in your life you didn't even know existed but are stopping you from becoming the person that you want to be. A therapist can also help you develop better relationship building skills as well as help you better understand your values, making it easier to meet people who have the same value as you. I hope you'll consider getting linked with somebody soon.

When it comes to making friendships there are a couple things you need to always remember. The first one is that you are not in control of how somebody else responds to you, you are only in control of how you act or respond to them. This is very important because we could easily put ourselves out there, meet somebody new and feel like there's a good friendship developing, only to be ghosted by the person for no apparent reason. You must accept that some friends in life will come and go. You might think you will have an excellent friendship developing and then it will slowly fade away over a couple months. It doesn't mean there's anything wrong with you, it is just the way life works. I really want you to understand this because I don't want you to beat yourself up if a friendship ends up not working out. The second really important thing is that you have to be willing to put yourself out there, you have to be willing to take the risk to get out of your comfort zone and meet some new people. Otherwise you'll be in this exact same predicament 10 years from now. One of the best ways you can do this is to get online and find a special interest group in your area that meets together once in a while. I know people that have met lifelong friends through bouldering groups and chess clubs. There are tons of people that you could connect with and develop the friendships with, but you have to be willing to go out and meet them. Along with that, you have to work to keep the communication going. You can't depend on the other person to make plans and to contact you. Something I regularly hear in therapy is, "my friends don't call me anymore." And I always have the exact same response every time, "You are fully capable of using the phone yourself and you can contact them". You have to be willing to put in the effort to grow the friendship.  

Two things I really want to emphasize at the end. Be aware that there are toxic people out there. If you see some red flags pop up, like somebody being really rude to their spouse or becoming belligerent, then don't ignore those red flags! If you are not comfortable being around somebody because of their behavior, then make sure you keep your distance from them. The goal is to grow friendships, but not at your expense. 

The second thing I want to end on is that your self-care is just as important as anything else I have mentioned. The better you feel in your own skin, the more confident you are then the easier it will be for you to develop friendships. Self-care is really hard but makes you the person you want to be. Good self-care means making smart financial decisions and preparing for the future, it means recognizing toxic behavior in your own life and making an active effort to change it, it means taking good care of your body and watching what you put into it, it also means making sure you are productive and satisfied with what you are doing in your life. When you take care of yourself and you are more confident who you are, then the easier it will be for you to be a good and trustworthy friend. I hope you were able to find some thing in here that helps and I wish you the best of luck as you put yourself out there and make new friends!