Are grief and sorrow the same thing?

                Thank you for your question, reader. Let me try to help tease apart the reactions of grief and sorrow for you. Grief specialists John James and Russell Friedman define grief as “the normal and natural reaction to loss.” Grief then is a term that we use for common thoughts, feelings, beliefs, and behaviors related to coping with the experience of loss. People experience grief due to different types of loss, such as death, divorce or loss of a relationship, loss of health, and others. “Grief” does not describe one emotion but an emotional process. Grievers experience common feelings that include deep sadness, emptiness, anger, confusion, disbelief, relief, and peace or acceptance. These feelings can even exist on the same day when you are grieving; at other times, one of these emotions may be the primary feeling you have for a while. There is no “right or wrong way” to experience grief, and one of the ways we can best support ourselves and one another through grief is to accept thoughts we have related to the loss and allow ourselves to have a full range of emotions.

                The word sorrow is used to refer to a feeling of great sadness. Other synonyms for sorrow include heartache, pain, regret, agony, and suffering. When I think of how grief and sorrow are related, it is certainly normal to feel sorrowful when grieving. Some people are concerned about grief-related emotions; they might think that something is wrong because they feel such intense emotions. Although grieving can be difficult and painful, there is nothing abnormal about how you are feeling. In fact, the more we allow ourselves to acknowledge our grief-related feelings, the more quickly we can get on the road to healing. Healing from grief does not involve forgetting the memories associated with your loss; healing involves letting go of the pain or sorrow related to your loss. A recent quote from President Biden during the remembrance ceremony for those that died from COVID-19 talks about how healing from grief feels. He said, “There will come a day, I promise you when the thought of your loved one brings a smile to your lips before it brings a tear to your eye.” It is normal to continue to miss the things or people you have lost that do not disappear, but your sorrow will heal.

                Short-term grief counseling can be helpful for some who would like added support after a loss. If you feel like you need a place to talk about your feelings without judgment in a way that will help you to move forward, please talk to a mental health professional.