Do your establishment work with insurance companies. I have blue crosa.blue shield

The best way to know if your insurance will cover speaking with a therapist would be discussing this with your insurance company, utilizing the member benefits on your specific plan. Many insurances will cover speaking with a therapist and they may refer you to specific in-network providers to assure there is no additional cost. The easiest way would be to go to bcbs.com and click on member services. From there, you will be prompted to input your Member ID and can search under Behavioral Health for providers, specifically Therapy. 

It sounds like there is a lot going on for you and especially with the recent loss of your mother, it is very helpful to work with someone as you begin navigating how your life looks different, in addition to processing your thoughts and emotions.

For finding a counselor that would be most appropriate for your situation and current presenting concerns, I would recommend "counselor shopping". While many therapists are able to assist your with your concerns, it seems like you would want someone that is well versed in grief and loss, trauma, sexual abuse, family therapy, lgbtq, relationships, and more depending on your preferences.  Finding a therapist that suits you is going to be one of the most helpful things in feeling like you are getting help. It is natural for there to be issues with fit and please do not feel stuck with a therapist just because you agreed to start using their services. The relationship is the most important part. 

Blue Cross Blue Shield will be easier to find therapists in your area that accept your insurance within a certain distance radius from your location. The second step would be utilizing the information Blue Cross Blue Shield provides on those therapists as they may be part of a medical group or agency. Typically an agency's website will have bios on their counselors, or websites like Psychology Today will allow counselors to write a description of their style. Feel free to reach out to a few counselors prior to beginning services to "interview" or ask them questions about how they would handle your case to see if you would like to continue working with them.

It is a lot of information but your happiness and growth will be the most important part. I hope the search for a good counselor is a successful journey for you.