why grief comes in waves?

Grief is hard to experience. Whenever we get a break from the pain and suffering, we feel so relieved. We think we have survived the worst of it, but then it sneaks back in, and all the sorrow hits us again. The thought of going through the sadness over and over again becomes unbearable. Unfortunately, this is part of the grieving process, and it takes time for it to go away completely. Grief is a process, it takes time for us to adjust to the change, and the waves get easier as they come. 

IT’S A PROCESS  

Grief is a process that is the reason it comes and goes. The five stages of grief, denial, anger, bargaining, depression, and acceptance, are huge reasons grief comes in waves. When grieving, we move from one stage to another, sometimes in chronological order, but we often bounce around the stages sporadically. It depends on how ready our psyche is to accept and deal with the loss. The bouncing around causes the grief to come in waves. One week we are bargaining with GOD to bring our loved one back to us; the following week, we feel angry about the loss, and at GOD for not accepting our bargain, then all of a sudden, we think we can accept the loss. Unfortunately, the next week we fall into a depression over the loss of our loved one. We are experiencing waves of grief. 

ADJUST TO THE CHANGE

When we lose a loved one, our life is changed forever. We have to learn to live a new way, a new life. Adjusting to any change or new situation takes time before we feel comfortable or at peace. Living in this time of limbo can cause grief to come and go in cycles. Specifically, when we experience difficulty adjusting, the wave of grief can hit us again, and we resume feeling the pain and suffering. It takes time to live and accept our new normal and for the waves of grief to cease.

EASIER WAVES

Even though the grief comes in waves, the pain and suffering should lessen just a little each time. Time is the healer of pain, but it does not happen all at once. We heal in increments, a little bit each time, to allow us to adjust to what we are feeling. Just like physical pain can send us into shock, extreme changes in emotional pain can cause shock. The waves give us time to cope and deal with the changes in our pain and grief.