Need help with living in the past

Termination of a relationship can be very challenging especially when ongoing connections stay in place. Moving on and letting go of the past is a challenge that many people face especially in regards to relationships. 

Emotions of the past 

Guilt, grief and regret are just a few of the negative feelings that can be connected with the past that contribute to feelings of sadness and depression. Since we can not change the past it is easy to get caught up in these emotions because we focus on the desire to do something else based on what ifs and possibilities that can not be proven or disproven.  So there is little to no resolve in the possibility of change because we do not know nor can we predict the true outcome of these changes.

Forward thinking

Trying to project the future whether it is based on reality of the past or speculation can increase anxiety. Being anxious about what may be or what might have been can contribute to overwhelming feelings of anger and/or resentment. Having a daughter to raise together, while worrying about how past decisions can affect future outcomes, can lead to distractive self-fulfilling prophecies for you or others who are involved.

Living in the present 

Focusing on the here and now is the key to happiness. Making choices that are based on the best possible future for you and your family can allow you to release and forgive yourself for feelings of guilt, grief, and anxiety. Understanding your mistakes and forgiving yourself for making them will put you in line to forgive others and also for others to forgive you. Take responsibility for your past actions with integrity and you will see a change in your ability to let go and make better choices.  When those around you see you  acknowledging Your responsibility, expressing your regret while taking control of your next steps while respecting the position that you have put yourself in. They will begin to respect you too. This will allow room for growth within the new relationship of coparenting. It will help to remove resentment and anxiety and encourage growth, development, love, and mutual respect for one another. When making decisions in the present consider asking yourself how can I make this moment better.