What can help make constantly being anxious about pleasing those around me?

When we love others we want to see them happy and at times we can forget about our own happiness. Remembering that your wants and needs are just as important as those you love is very important. Also remembering that you can only be as good to others as you are to yourself. 

Feeling guilty for not adhering to the wants and needs of others especially those close to you can be challenging. As human beings we are biologically structured to do things based upon satisfying our internal needs and wants. However, conflict can occur when we don’t. When we are unable to do so negative feelings result. Not aligning your actions to your values and can challenge your internal desires and create feelings of resentment, anger, frustration and more. Therefore, identifying your values and taking action to align your behaviors to that which you value can prove to increase your sense of happiness and well-being.  Identifying your values can be challenging and can be a bit more challenging than it sounds. Starting with asking yourself, "What makes me happy?"  and "Why does it make me happy."

Additionally, exploring your need to make people happy beyond simply loving them could assist you. At times we can have fear in nontraditional forms. Fear of being disliked or fear of rejection for not being or doing what others want or need can illicit a need to do virtually anything to please others. As you begin to confront this fear you should begin to believe that others will love you regardless of what you do for them and your confidence will grow, allowing you to begin to set reasonable expectations for yourself and others. 

Exploring your associated fears could also be beneficial. If you find yourself fearful of the response from others, learning to become more aware of your fear of rejection and how that fear is connected with past experiences or other fears can be key. Another approach is to positively and realistically assess your relationships and learn that no mater what you do, your family will love you regardless.