Ask a therapist > Motivation > How can I regain motivation and focus?

How can I regain motivation and focus?

My problem starts with getting out of bed, finding passion to pursue what I want. Nothing can make me happy anymore, all I can think of are bad thoughts, so I play video games, I watch TV, or scroll through my phone, in effort to numb the pain. When I receive a project I am excited about, I end up not procrastinating, I can't think like I used to, the fear of failure takes over. And I find it hard to start working on tasks. I sometimes think, what if I can get a boring job, so I can get bored in order to procrastinate by doing the things I like. It works for a while but it ends up tearing me from the inside. I've reached a moment in my life where I've achieved my childhood. And little makes me go on. I have my religion to rely on and pretty much the only thing that can give me peace, but I believe there can be more to rely on.

Thank you for listening
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Asked by Nami
Motivation
Optimism
Answered
10/30/2022

I'm sorry to hear of such struggles that you are experiencing. 

First of all, thank you for sharing this with me, as it must have been really hard to bring it to reality, other than just thinking about it. 

It sounds like, from what you have mentioned that you may benefit from some target setting by perhaps creating a plan, to help boost your motivation. 

Maybe start with one single thing that feels challenging but also manageable. Once that feels okay, challenging yourself to take each piece of your life back, one thing after another. Not flooding yourself with things that you can't manage, always being mindful of what you can do.

Allow fear to be with you and don't push it away, as fear is a normal emotion, that we feel as human beings. 
Avoiding things in our life makes us feel overwhelmed with anxiety, so if there is something that you want to do and it makes you feel a little scared, do it as often as possible. As your body will habituate to your own environment and makes it feel less 'scary'. The more you repeat a behavior that makes you anxious, it becomes a part of your comfort zone.I'm wondering from what you have said, about the bad thoughts and the fear of failing taking over, what is the worst that could happen? 

Another solution could be thinking of the pro's and cons of difficult situations, thinking through if and how it will affect you, if it will - within, a week, a month, a year.

I can't imagine how you're feeling to be in this predicament. But if you are willing to help yourself through it, there is no harm in trying.

And if, after trying and it doesn't help, we are here to help, even more by communicating with you, to try and help you, help yourself. As you are the master of your own thoughts, feelings and behaviors. You know best! 

Thank you for your time and I wish you all the best in your life, moving forward in a more positive way of living.