Ask a therapist > Motivation > Why do I feel like I am always stuck in life and can't find my purpose no matter how far I've got?

Why do I feel like I am always stuck in life and can't find my purpose no matter how far I've got?

It's been years since I am going in circles trying to find the real purpose that would bring me full happiness and financial stability. It seems like anything that I would accomplish doesn't bring me enough satisfaction and I always crave more. Purely, nothing makes me 100% happy no matter the outcome and on top of this, I always find ways to compare with others' achievements despite knowing that it is a bad habit.
How can I celebrate every milestone in my life and make it count towards a joyful path?

Thanks!
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Asked by Vals
Motivation
Optimism
Answered
01/31/2023

Hi Vals,

Thank you for asking this question. This is a common issue that many people from all walks of life face whether they become successful or not. From this you can see that the issue has nothing to do with being successful or financial stability, rather it has more to do with being content with what you already have. It is challenging to work on this as it is related to many deep rooted issues. However, if worked on one can overcome it and make life joyful and happy. 

To start with you should become aware of your achievements, your strengths as well as your weaknesses. Reflect and then write down how each of the achievements made you feel and the reason for this feeling. Then reflect on the  motivation you had while you were working on this- were there external factors motivating you? If there were only external factors then are there any intrinsic factors that you think of that can develop overtime to become your intrinsic motivation? This would require a lot of reflecting and while you are writing all these thoughts down it will help clarify your thoughts and your feelings towards your goals. 

The next thing I want you to think about is gratitude. List 10 things in your life you are grateful for. Are they related to any of your goals and achievements? As you are thinking and making the list think about life in general and see how when you did achieve some of your goals or while you had these blessings in life were you grateful in that moment- why or why not? This will help clarify your thought process and set your thought process to become more positive. 

As you go through these exercises you will get a better understanding of yourself and why you choose to do certain things and what your priorities are in life. As you are becoming clear you can redshift your thought process and set more meaningful goals and find intrinsic motivation to work on rather than external validation. This will help you tremendously in finding your purpose in life and not choosing to do things for meaningless purposes. 

I suggest that you work with a counselor to help you navigate this as it would be very helpful. I hope this was helpful for you. 

Best, 

Dr. Saima 

(PHD, MS, MA)