Am I experiencing ptsd?

Hello, my name is Sara and I am a licensed professional counselor.  I have many years of working with people with post traumatic stress disorder and post traumatic stress symptoms.  While I have the experience and knowledge, I just have to start off by saying that I cannot officially diagnose you with anything because I have not met you or worked with you, that would be unethical.  I do think that I can still help by shedding light on what post traumatic stress looks like.

First, I will lay out what I tell all my clients who question whether or not they have post traumatic stress disorder (PTSD).  It is a deeply personal journey and trauma causing the symptoms or the disorder can be very subjective.  For example, if you and I were standing together on the same day at the same time and we both watched a train crash in front of us, we could potentially have very different responses.  I might see it and be scared to travel on a train, get panic attacks when I see or hear a train, and/or have those images come into my head when I do not want them to.  You might see it and think about the mechanics that went into the crash, be unimpacted emotionally, and maybe focus on the excellent response time from paramedics.  There might be another person with us who does not have any thoughts about it and walks away, maybe telling someone about it but never thinking about it again.  None of these responses are good or bad necessarily.  I bring this up to illustrate the point that something I might call “traumatic” could not be so for another person.  This is important because often times we question whether or not we “should” be impacted by something or ask ourselves “was that bad enough for me to have this reaction to it”?  There are also other influences from our friends or loved ones or the media that can convince us that our trauma “was not that bad”.  This can lead us to questioning whether or not we can have PTSD.

In an effort to destigmatize mental health, clinicians all over the world have started to talk about post traumatic stress symptoms, leaving the “disorder” part out.  PTS and PTSD do overlap, but there are some major differences.  When we go through trauma, the primal parts of our brains kick in so that we can survive.  We call it the fight or flight response (and have added freeze, fawn, and faint).  The primal part of our brain focuses on survival, so it shuts down the need for going to the bathroom, pauses digestion, pools blood into parts of the body that are most vital to keeping us alive, and focuses our brain on one thing, thus mostly shutting off our executive functioning.  PTS is a common response to a scary event, which can include nightmares, avoidance of reminders of where the event took place, and fearful or nervous feelings.  This is our brain’s very normal way of adapting to a scary situation.  One positive outcome of experiencing PTS may be that you behave more carefully in a potentially dangerous situation in the future.  

Anyone who has experienced or witnessed a situation that involves the possibility of death or serious injury, or who learns that a close relative or friend has experienced a traumatic event, can develop PTSD.  It is still not completely understood why some people who are exposed to traumatic situations develop PTSD while others do not.  As I explain it to clients, this can be a matter of genetic make up, could be due to past trauma in one’s life, the mood and vulnerability one might feel in the moment the event happens, or even the follow up response from their support system.  All in all though, PTSD is diagnosable by a professional using the Diagnostic and Statistical Manual of Mental Disorders (DSM-5TR).  The most recent addition requires the following

A. One must be exposed to a traumatic event themselves or vicariously, which could mean being a direct victim, a witness, or hearing about a traumatic event.  

B.  Experience of an intrusive symptom related to the event which could be memories, nightmares, flashbacks, and physical symptoms that can come up when one is reminded of the event either internally or externally.

C.  Avoidance of stimuli associated with the traumatic event such as avoiding memories/thoughts/feelings (all internal) or actually avoiding the people, places, things, and situations that remind them of the event.

D.  Negative mood or a change in thinking after the event, to include not remembering the traumatic event, negative beliefs about oneself or the world, a negative emotional state, lack of motivation, detachment from others, or an inability to experience positive emotions.

E.  Increased reactivity such as reckless or self destructive behavior, hypervigilence, problems with concentration, problems with sleep, or irritability.

F.  B, C, D, and E have to be more than a month long.

G.  The reactions are having a significant impact on important areas of functioning.

H.  All of this is not explained by another disorder or physiological problem such as substance abuse or a medical condition.

From what you said in your question, you could be experiencing PTSD, but it would require time with a therapist and self exploration to understand it better.  I think you are starting off right in asking the question and I hope you can work with your counselor to better understand yourself and what is going on with you.  Thanks for being vulnerable and putting your question out there because I am sure other people have the same one!

With all of that said, PTSD is a treatable disorder and can be overcome successfully.  There are many people certified in treatments such as cognitive behavioral therapy and eye movement desensitization and reprocessing (EMDR) that have had great success with PTSD and PTS.  I wish you a lot of luck on your journey.