How can I stop excessive porn addiction and get my life back?

Thank-you for reaching out to better help for assistance. I look forward to assisting you. It sounds like you are quite frustrated and state that  you want to know how you can stop excessive porn addiction and get your life back again. It sounds like you have had this porn addiction for 10 years and you state that it has a grip on your life now. You state that you feel like you are drowning and that life has lost its meaning and purpose. Do you remember why you first started watching porn? Addictions give us something that feels good but is only temporary and not long term. So for a short period you might get a high and feel good but than you fall or crash and feel bad. In order to feel good you do it over and over and over again. That is where you say the porn addiction has a grip on your life. I understand your frustration with this. Sounds like you have tried lots of things and nothing has really worked. The first thing is you have to want to stop and change. Your brain releases a very strong chemical/hormone called dopamine that is involved with addictions. You have to decide you don't want this addiction anymore. By coming and talking about it here, that is a first step. I would suggest some cognitive behavioral therapy or CBT therapy for you. CBT therapy challenges your thoughts and beliefs so you can get the best possible outcome for yourself. I would use the ABC technique.  A= the activating event, B= your thoughts and beliefs, C= the outcome or consequence. The key is to challenge and dispute your thoughts and beliefs so you can get the best possible outcome for yourself. When you have the desire and urge to watch porn, you need to do some self talk. You need to ask yourself is this the right or wrong thing for me to day. Is this going to help me or hurt me. You need to say, I want to stop watching porn. Than you need to divert your thoughts and activities to something else. Go for a walk, call a friend and do this for 30 minutes to an hour. Everytime you have the urge to watch porn do the self talk to get the best outcome for yourself. After 3- 4 weeks you should notice a difference. Please be patient with yourself. You might have a bad day but try again. I hope this helped you and I hope to hear from you again. Thanks for reaching out to better help and I enjoyed assisting you.