How to say no and speak up without alway overthinking or being afraid
Asked by Michel
Answered
12/05/2022
Hello,
Thank you for submitting a question through BetterHelp. It is always not easy reaching out for clarity. My hope is that I am able to answer your question and/or provide some clarity.
It appears that you are having a difficult time with standing up for yourself and speaking the truth when you want to. Sometimes this can be from trauma, relationships and childhood.
To start saying no and speaking without always overthinking or overanalyzing or fear you have to start with communication and boundaries. Noticing what is stuck in your head, overthinking can become an unhealthy habit that you may not even recognize it when you are doing it. Keep your focus on problem solving, dwelling on your thoughts is not helpful and is unhealthy. If it is something that you think you may have control of, think about how you can challenge yourself or the situation and identify solutions to the problem.
Challenging your thoughts is very important. It is common to get carried away and start overthinking things that are especially out of our control, but in our control too. Of course if this happens the emotions will take over, you have to look at what is true of the situation and what you can focus on to change the situation.
It is also important to reflect. When we focus on problems for too long, it is productive to go back and look how we can fix it. Think about how you could do things differently and in a healthier way.
It is important for you to be mindful and learn mindful skills when dealing with this as well. This does take time and practice like a lot of things do, but this will help in the long run. You can read books, listen to podcasts, apps for relaxing, meditation, and yoga.
Also when you want to say something, assertiveness and boundaries come into play. Make sure to practice and exercise assertive skills and boundaries. This is a healthy way to say no to things in a respectful manner. Individuals will respect and understand that you now have boundaries in place.
