I am thinking about switching therapists. How do I do it in a healthy manner?

Hello Y,

Thank you for bringing your question to the BetterHelp platform. I am glad you are here and also glad because I am certain your question will help many others who are presently engaging in therapy here and may be struggling to connect to their respective providers stylistically. I am happy to provide you with some options to move forward alongside offering a response to your question about how to switch therapists in a healthy manner. 

I am so sorry to hear that you are feeling like your general style of communicating with your therapist - more friendly, chatty, etc. is hindering your expansion in the therapy room. I think there are several things to consider in this related to switching (or maintaining) in a healthy manner. Here is a list:

1. Open up about your concerns to your present therapist - let her know that you are not feeling challenged and that the feeling that you are "talking to one of my girlfriends" is unproductive for you and does not create comfort. Open and honest communication is key when collaborating in such an intimate way. If you are thinking of staying, you can note this as feedback and observe whether things change. If you are set on switching, this may be information you share related to feedback which describes the reason for you seeking treatment with an alternative provider. It can be very kind to give feedback to your provider, this way they have the opportunity to make changes in their practice going forward. 

2. Inform your provider you are considering switching to another therapist - perhaps what you are experiencing is their experience also and they simply have not gotten to the point of disclosing this yet. These things can be delicate. Not always but often. Do not assume that you are going to hurt your provider's feelings by advocating for your own needs. You deserve to feel seen, heard, and to process the details of your life in a way that feels like you are making progress and moving forward.

3. If you are looking to seek a male therapist going forward consider the following - what would a male therapist offer that a female therapist (your current or an alternative) cannot? Is there an issue with a paternal figure in your life that you are looking to have a corrective experience through therapy? Are you overcorrecting the issue that you are having with your present (female) therapist by seeking a male or is this something that you actually want and need? 

It is important to have an honest conversation with yourself and then an honest conversation with your therapist in this case. That is what healthy actions are made up of - intentional thought and care. You got this! 

I hope this has been helpful to you and I hope that if you have further questions or concerns, that you will return to the BetterHelp platform so we can assist you. Have a wonderful weekend and good luck to you always! Take care!