Ask a therapist > Other > Is it possible to find happiness, and a purpose in life without having children?

Is it possible to find happiness, and a purpose in life without having children?

So as a social individual, who enjoys helping others I would like to have children, however in modern times, it is difficult to find an individual who wants to have children, let alone fund the growth, and life for them. I know that people traditionally have to mature after having children, and it gives their life purpose, however as someone in my early 30s with no mate prospects, life is very redundant.
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Asked by CJ
Other
Answered
06/03/2022

Hi CJ,

Thank you for reaching out.  I appreciate the insight you have shown in your message and what you are looking for.  I am hoping the thoughts or information I provide below is beneficial to you.

Everyone is different and everyone has a different purpose.  I am wondering what yours is?  Would you consider writing a mission statement for your life (similar to a mission statement for a business or an organization).  Would that help you find happiness and motivation?

I am not trying to sound condescending, so please forgive if in the written word it comes across that way.  People do marry older than you and have children.  I understand your concerns of not finding someone with whom you are compatible and wanting to have children with.  Being a single parent can be difficult, it can be done if that is something you want to pursue through adoption.  You may also want to consider exploring the idea of foster care.  Sometimes this can lead to adoption, sometimes the children remain in foster care until they are 18 or 21 and sometimes they do return to their parents or other family.

What interests or new hobbies do you have that you have not explored?  Google Meet Up groups have a lot of free or minimal payment groups that may be worth looking into for your area.  You may find something that interests you that you have never even considered.  There are rock climbing groups, travel groups, hiking groups, etc.

I am also curious if you have thought about engaging in some type of volunteer work to give back to the community you live in.  There may be animal shelters, homeless shelters, domestic violence shelters, soup kitchens, or several other possibilities.  Often times hospitals are looking for volunteers as well.  The US Dept of Veterans Affairs is often looking for volunteers as well.  

There is purpose without children, it is something you need to look for.  Even with children you could potentially find some redundancy at times with homework, dinner, after school activities, etc.

I hope this information was helpful and I wish you the best moving forward in your journey.

Best,

Erica

(LISW-CP, LCSW-C, LCSW)