What’s a technique to help stay calm with things out of your control?

Hi, I guess my first question before I dive into my answer would be to explore what it is that triggers you the most, that sets you off in these moments? Are they all the same, do you notice any pattern such as who may be elicits this reaction more than others or what circumstances? I think it is key to slow yourself down and look at all of what may be happening to help you better address the root of what makes you feel upset in the moment and to what level that you are feeling upset?

I think it is key to slow yourself down and look at all of what may be happening to help you better address the root of what makes you feel upset in the moment and to what level that you are feeling upset.

That being said, there are several techniques that we can do in the moment to help center and ground us before we get taken on the trip that is a trigger such as; using grounding techniques to stay present, taking some deep breaths and a walk or some sort of separation before responding, trying to pay attention to those previously mentioned patterns so that we can extricate ourselves from a situation that does not feel supportive to our staying calm.

Grounding techniques: the 54321 method, this includes finding things that speak to our senses in the orders of a group of five, a group of four, a group of three, a group of two, and finally one thing. For example; five things in the room that are the color orange, four things in the room that I can smell, three things in the room that I could touch better nearby, two things in the room that I can taste, one thing in the room that I can hear.  This technique allows us to be distracted by the task long enough to get a separation from the stimulus so that we can make a better decision as to how we feel about it and how we want to react. Now, this takes some practice but, jut focusing on the task can be distraction enough. 

Before you react, step away, sip some water, anything that gives you a moment of pause can help to break the cyclical nature of responding.