Which body language shows that one is listening?

            When you are in a conversation and want to show that you care, it can be important to think about how to show them that you are listening.  When our body language can reflect that maybe we are not listening, it can hurt the person and even prevent us from getting closer to someone.  Active listening is listening that counselors are trained in that can be really effective for others.  An active listener will pick up on nonverbal cues, paraphrase at times, and ask questions, among other things.  When you can make sure to make these a priority, the person will feel as though you care and are listening.  Try not to overthink it, but you can even practice in front of the mirror if you are unsure how you come across. 

            Another component to think about is what your upper and lower body are displaying to the person talking.  With your upper body language, try to focus on your eyes and what you are doing with your arms and hands.  For example, if our eyes keep looking elsewhere, that could message that we are not listening to the person talking.  Also, if your arms are closed, that can come across as closed off, and the talker might feel like they are bothering you.  Therefore, looking someone in the eye and keeping your arm somewhat open can convey that you care and are listening. 

With your lower body language, focus mostly on your legs and feet.  If your legs are closed and hips turned away, that could come across as though you do not really want to listen.  Also, if your feet are fidgeting, it could give off the message that the talker is making you nervous and/or uncomfortable.  So, if you can show the talker that you are welcoming the conversation by an open stance and trying not to fidget, that can really help.  Giving assurance throughout the conversation, even by hugging them, can help them feel like they are not bothering you and that you truly care.