Ask a therapist > Other > Why don't i feel something from success?

Why don't i feel something from success?

Hi, i am a young adult fresh out of college and am getting ready to look for my first job. Problem is i dont feel anything from things that had happened in my life so far. Be it a small task like talking to a friend i haven't talked to a while, getting out of a rut, or a big accomplishment like finishing school or buying a car. After anything I do instead of feeling proud, meaningful, happy or some other positive emotion, I feel nothing, except for high stress and anxiety before engaging. That feeling I think stops me from pursuing other meaningful pursuits like finding new friends or going on job interviews and because of that nothing in life really excites me, like things that are fun. I go on a motorcycle ride or travel but again I feel nothing. I don't know why this is happening and I like to think i am a glass half full kinda person. To summarize my question is why I don't feel something after doing something, be it positive or negative?
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Asked by Pearson
Other
Answered
11/10/2022

Not feeling anything after doing something whether it is a positive or negative experience can be an indicator of a few things like depression, the after effect of the high stress and anxiety that you feel prior to engaging in a task/experience or even your genetic mood set point. This is something that more information would need to be gathered to give you a more accurate answer.

Something important to consider is was there a point in time that you did feel something and then it changed to feeling nothing or has this been a lifelong pattern of not experiencing emotions? If it is a symptom of depression then coping skills can be developed to reduce the impact of depression so that you ideally would return to feeling the emotions you previously felt.

If it is the after effect of the high stress and anxiety that you feel prior to the task, the focus could be on reducing your stress load and actively coping with your anxiety prior to the task so that you can focus on the task as it happens and ideally feel the appropriate emotions following the task.

If it is your genetic mood set point focusing your attention to coping skills that shift your outlook and perception can be helpful. Research suggests that approximately 30-50% of our capacity to experience happiness is predetermined and set in our genes, that is our default level of happiness which regardless of what is going on we return to and maintain that level. With that in mind we have room to increase our happiness level through coping skills and situations.

This brings me back to where I indicated more information would be needed for an accurate answer. If you previously felt emotions and they stopped following a life event or situation that would be a good starting point to explore the change and determine ways to return to being able to feel emotions, processing in therapy or with another trusted individual. If when look back over your life you notice that you have never felt positive or negative emotions that could indicate a physiological imbalance that is a barrier to your ability to feel emotions and a good conversation to have with a medical professional so that they can explore available options with you.