I have been dealing with a bit of increased paranoia due to moving to a new location, any tips?

New location, limited (but non aggressive) communication with roommates. I haven't lived under anyone before, feels like everything I/they do is heard.
Asked by Tyler
Answered
01/10/2023

In order to lessen the paranoia, I would introduce myself to the upstairs neighbors, maybe bring a small gift?  Also, I would recommend some cognitive behavior therapy techniques such as putting thoughts on trial.  When you have a negative or paranoid thought, try to find evidence that contradicts the thought.  For instance, if you think people do not like you, what is the evidence for that thought?  Have they said as much?  Do they make mad faces at you?  Then look for evidence against the thought.  Do they give you a friendly greeting when you pass them in the hall?  Do they smile back when you say hello?  Then pretend you are the judge of the thought and come to a verdict about its accuracy. An easy way to make friends with someone is to give them a compliment.  Say something like, "I really like those shoes!"  Chances are that when they see you again they will have a positive memory of your last interaction. This would also decrease the chances that they would be saying anything negative about you. 

You might also approach the neighbor and ask if there is anything you are doing that really bothers them.  This would give you an opportunity to commiserate about the perils of living in an over/under apartment situation.  Then you would be acting as a team to make sure each of you is happy. It would be best if you were able to be on friendly terms with them.  

It would also be good for you to get out and learn more about your surroundings.  Find places to walk or go for coffee.  Join a community activity, like a local gym or find a group with similar interests to your own.  All of these things can be found online.  In my community they have Knitting groups, rowing groups, tennis, pickleball, and all sorts of things to offer.  It is hard living in a new place and trying to get settled and making friends.  

Try to remember other people may be feeling the same as you.  They may be worried about what you are thinking about them.  I hope this is helpful!

I hope this is helpful!

(LCPC)