Why do I experience so much anxiety?

Dear Urjora,

I'm so sorry to hear that you are experiencing this and I will try my best to direct you in the best possible direction to help you with the limited information provided.

First, it is most likely that your fear did stem from somewhere but you are not cognizant of it.  It could even stem from an early childhood experience that you may have unconsciously put in your repressed memories.  But also, we are still experiencing Covid related issues around the world, and there have been so many people affected by this.

There is a small percentage of people who have phobias from genetics, but mostly, they are created and conditioned from a stressful or even traumatic experience or being exposed to a continual stressor.   It also sounds like you may be experiencing depression too, since you stopped seeing your friends, even though you could invite them over to your home for company.

Since the phobia is starting to reach higher proportions of limiting your life, it would be beneficial for you to see a phobia specialist or a licensed therapist that treats this. Dealing and trying to manage your phobia on your own is extremely difficult, as you are probably experiencing very intense emotions and reactions that will only continue to grow until it is self limiting and to be honest, it seems like your condition is getting to that state.  

I would strongly recommend that you seek professional help.  A licensed and trained professional who specializes in phobias will need to help recondition your thinking and behavioral patterns. It will be uncomfortable for you as you will have to learn to face your fear to overcome it, meaning- you will need to face the stimuli that is eliciting the phobia.  It is not easy to do on your own as most likely, you will be triggered with an intense reaction since your phobia has been affecting you for a long time now.  It is a fear based condition and it will be important that you someone who is experienced to help you through these stages of reconditioning your thinking regarding your phobia issues.