Can marriage survive without sex?

One of the most common struggles in marital relationships is when the partners involved have different needs sexually. Whether it is different libidos, managing an illness, ongoing stress, trauma, changes in interest, hormonal changes, pregnancy, childbirth, and rearing them, so many people find their sexual needs change temporarily and even in some cases permanently. Whether or not marriage can survive without sex largely depends on the relationship and needs of each individual. No law or truth states that married couples must have sex to survive and be healthy. Historically, marriage and sex have played various roles in family systems thriving, but each marriage can determine what works for them today.

What would this marriage look like?

Sex has its place in life and many marriages. When determining what is most important in a marriage, many people discuss emotional intimacy, intellectual stimulation, good conversation and communication, common hobbies and interests, and the ability to live in harmony and care for one another. The survival of any marriage or relationship is largely determined by each person’s relational needs being met and weighing the pros and cons if some are not. In other words, no marriage is based on 100% perfection of all needs being met. Still, if sex is extremely important to one person and not important at all to another, there may come a day where there is an impasse to work through additionally if no sex is a matter of preference or interest vs. an actual medical or health issue that can make a big difference in determining the trajectory of the relationship as well.

Making a plan…

It is not for everyone, but many marriages have worked through the lack of sex just beautifully, and they celebrate what they do give to each other. Many couples are on the same page with no need for sex. The couples who do not have options may take counseling and some serious conversations to determine what is necessary for their marriage to survive. Counselors who do not subscribe to a certain religious type of counseling that follows a certain fixed way of thinking on marriage may assist couples in determining what is appropriate for their marital relationship, including exploring individual and couple masturbation, open relationships, and what a healthy marriage would look like without any sexual interactions. The possibility of separation is also discussed, and many times, couples can determine that this is what they need or if they can make the marriage work without sex. The answer is not black and white, and each relationship really has its own nuances that make it unique. Marriage can indeed survive without sex, and it is a matter of each partner's individual needs that determine the answer to this question.