Do you provide relationship building support?
Asked by Kt
Answered
01/22/2023
Hi Kt!
Thank you for reaching out for help. A therapist through BetterHelp can definitely help you out with that!
It sounds like you are dealing with a challenging situation and I am happy to help you work through it. A lot of our problems come from the way we think about things. That sounds like a hard reality to face, but you can do it!
When you refer to going back home, are you referring as home to your boyfriend or somewhere away from your boyfriend? Either way, it is important to be aware of your thoughts, feelings and behaviors that are leading to situations that you do not want to be in. Take 3-4 minutes and write down all of your thoughts, unfiltered. Look through those thoughts and circle all of the facts. Cross off the thoughts that are only based in emotion or guesses, then read it again with only the facts. Does that change the way you think about things at all? Focus on the facts as you are making decisions and working through the challenges that you are facing.
It sounds like you would like to build and strengthen your relationship. One of the biggest challenges of being in a relationship is healthy communication. Do you feel like your communication was healthy in your relationship? Can you identify why or why not? Talking about this with your boyfriend and making sure you are both aware of what the issues are is a good place to start working on that.
As humans, we have two hemispheres in our brains. One is the emotional side and one is the logical side. When we utilize these two sides together, this is called the wise mind. Using the wise mind is the goal! It is typical for people to rely on their emotional side first and sometimes we have to jump-start our logical minds. The writing activity that I mentioned above will help with that.
Keep these techniques in mind while having a conversation with your boyfriend to strengthen your relationship. Speak with "I" statements and make sure you are not getting defensive throughout the conversation.
I wish you the best!
-Melissa
(LCSW)