Does my therapist do couples therapy?

Thank you for your question. It is generally not advisable for a therapist who is working with you individually to also see you and your husband as a couple. Your therapist is there for you, which may create perceived or unintended alliance in the therapy space, alienating your partner. When you and your husband engage in couples therapy, it will be important for both of you to feel comfortable with the chosen therapist. For that reason, it's often recommended for each person in the relationship to have their therapist while seeing a couples therapist together.

It's also helpful to have clear goals in each space, for example working on the relationship in couples counseling and working on stress management in individual. Sometimes when we work on relationship issues in individual therapy, we aren't seeing the whole picture and can inadvertently do work that is unhelpful or even harmful to the relationship. Another reason for keeping relationship goals out of individual counseling is that it takes two to make positive changes in the partnership. It's not a one-person job.

Couples therapists may come from a variety of professions --for example social work, mental health counseling, and marriage and family therapy (MFT). Not all therapists specialize in working with couples, so that is something you may want to ask about. In addition to credentials and specialties, you might want to know about the therapist's education, certifications, and style. Reading bios can help you choose someone who will be a good fit for you and your husband. Make this choice together, if you can. If you are currently seeing an individual therapist, they might even have a recommendation.

A couples therapist can help partners resolve conflict, improve communication, increase intimacy, and heal past hurts. They can also help guide you through an amicable separation, if that is what ends up being what is best. Your children are a part of your whole family system. Your couples therapist can answer any questions you may have about how the dynamic of your relationship may impact your children and help guide you through any tough conversations down the road. 

To summarize:

1. It's a great idea for couples to choose a therapist they both are comfortable with together.

2. Individual therapy should stay focused on individual goals, couples therapy on your relationship goals.

3. Couples therapy can help strengthen a relationship in any stage.

4. Your couples therapist is also there to support both of you through the tough stuff.