How can my wife and I establish Couples Counseling?

Hi Ima! 

Thank you so much for reaching out for some help with this! BetterHelp does offer couples therapy. I recently read a statistic that said that therapy helps 70% of couples who engage in it together so it sounds like you are off to a great start in improving your marriage! Visit Betterhelp.com and choose the center green oval that says couples counseling to get started! 

You will be matched with a therapist who chooses to work with couples and is trained in that area. There are many different evidence based approaches that can help you work through challenges like having trouble understanding each other, as well as working towards healthier communication! 

I can already see a lot of strengths in your marriage! I can see that you care about each other and you want this to work! It sounds like you have a history of understanding each other better than you do now which means that you do have the ability to do so. The biggest strength I see is that you want to work on this and you want your marriage to last. One of the biggest barriers people face to making positive changes is not being willing to put in the hard work, so great job with being willing to take this first step! 

A few tips while you wait to get matched to a therapist; communicate about everything! Speak with "I statements". For example, tell your partner how you feel about things without blaming them for those feelings. Say, "I feel hurt by that" instead of saying "You hurt me".  Maybe your partner did hurt you but blaming people puts them into a defensive mode that typically leads to unhealthy conflict. 

Can you identify the things that are causing the lack of understanding that you once had? Sometimes just having a conversation about that can bring up things that you would not expect. Communication is key to a healthy and happy marriage. 

I have confidence that with a little bit of help and suggestions from an outside perspective, your marriage will do well! 

I wish you the best and thank you for reaching out for some help! 

-Melissa