How do I better manage my neuroticism and self-sabotage?

Thank you for your question regarding wanting to better manage your neuroticism and self-sabotage, it sounds like recently quitting your job and starting a new relationship have made things feel scary and harder to manage.  I wonder if it would be helpful to write down what feels so hard to manage right now, what is not helpful and what has been helpful in the past when you have felt this way.

Making changes can feel scary, as change means that you may have to face the unknown for a while.  It sounds like the changes you have made are right for you, as you were not happy in your work role.  I wonder if there is fear of what you will do next or if you already know, maybe there is some fear of how this will work out.  In terms of your new relationship, it sounds like again there will be some change as you adapt from being single to having to consider another person as well.

I am wondering if these new situations have made things feel like they are too much and maybe you are also feeling more anxious than you usually would, more stressed, lower in mood, having negative feelings, experiencing anger or doubting yourself and the actions you take, these feelings may also be leading you to self sabotage. 

Do you currently feel that you have an environment/space around you that provides the support you may need? A space where you are able to relax.  If you don't maybe the following suggestions may be helpful.  Taking part in a daily mindful activity, using a journal to record your thoughts, communicating with someone else about how you are feeling, reading, listening to a podcast or attending a small workshop/activity that feels supportive to you. 

It feels important to say that if you wanted to sign up to BetterHelp you could have a space to talk weekly 1-1 with a therapist, an online journal, mindfulness activities and other worksheets to support your wellbeing and groupinar classes, if this feels like something that may be helpful for you, feel free to ask more questions about it.

It can be hard to make steps towards support when you feel in an overwhelming place, support is out there for you.

Take Care.