I am jealous of his relationships with friends and family. i'm withdrawn and miserable.

Hi Willow,

I feel that when a situation like this arises, it can be very overwhelming and complex to deal with so sometimes it's better to breakdown the situation to make it clearer for the brain to process.

Firstly, I would like you to have a think back to your relationships in your life besides your partners' daughters. Is there anyone before that has caused you to feel that you need to alienate them through feelings of jealousy and resentfulness? If so, that's always a good place to start as often these are feelings from the past that are popping up again and presenting themselves through a 'triggered' feeling or circumstance.

It would also be good to think about how your feelings were towards his daughters when you first met your partner. Have these feelings grown over the years or have they always been there? When we are working with feelings of jealousy or resentment, they are often good indicators of what you may crave within your own life or in this case within your relationship with your partner, even though at the time the emotions can be tough to 'swallow'.

If you think of your relationship as it is today, how does it make you feel? Do you feel that there are parts of your relationship that aren't making your happy or satisfied? I am wondering if you may feel that your partner isn't focusing on you as much as maybe you would like him to be...I say this because when it comes to children (i know they are 30 plus) but it's an unconditional love and focus and I'm wondering if that is causing or maybe a part of why you feel the way you do and by alienating them you can push away the feelings that arise. The thing is by doing that you are pushing away the part of you that is signaling what you need from your partner.

It would also be good to know if there are any specific things about the daughters that stick out in your mind more than others...How do these particular things relate to how you feel about your sense of self? All these things can be used to give an idea of why these two people evoke such uncomfortable feelings for you. Working this way can transform feelings of jealousy and resentfulness into inspiration and positivity, and understanding them can help you feel better about yourself and give pointers to what you would like to improve in your relationship. It also opens space for positive conversations with your partner that will strenthen your relationship long term.