relationship problems

Hi Ricky! 

Let me start by saying thank you for submitting your question, but I am so sorry to hear about what you are going through. I hope that my answer can provide with you some things to think about. 

First, to be feeling grief and depression (and I am sure a lot of other mixed emotions as well) is completely understandable and expected given the situation you are in. Allow yourself to process through these feelings by giving yourself an outlet to deal with them. For some people, this may be journaling. For others, this might be talking with loved ones. And for others, this may look like finding creative outlets, such as drawing or painting. You may even utilize a combination of all of these, but remember that you do not have to keep these feelings inside and internalized. Giving yourself a way to get those emotions out can help you gain clarity over what you need to heal. During this time, self-care and coping skills are so important. Really try to prioritize the things that you feel would benefit you. Maybe this is quality alone time, like taking yourself to a restaurant or movie. Maybe this is staying connected with friends or family who tend to boost your mood. Maybe this looks like extra relaxation and surrounding yourself with your typical comforts. And again, perhaps it is a combination of all these and other things. The important thing is to really focus on what you need and want right now. 

My second thought, and I am unclear of where you stand on this, is to really figure out what you want to do about this relationship. Whether you have decided to end things or are still in the decision-making phase, try to ask yourself some questions. Can I trust this person? What would a relationship look like with them moving forward? Do I want to stay in contact with them if I decide not to move forward platonically? Is there anything I want from them before I move forward (an apology, a conversation/explanation, etc.)? Maybe reflecting on some of these questions will help you decide how to move forward. 

I hope you found this to be helpful, but if you would like more information or you want to talk through your problems more specifically with someone, I always recommend seeking help from a mental health provider, even if just briefly to help get you through this time. You can go to betterhelp.com and sign up whenever you are ready to do so, and start talking with a therapist within days.  I wish you all the best on your journey forward. Take care!

Cory Bedtke LCSW