Should i work it out with my girlfriend?

Hi there I am glad that you reached out. It's difficult to know for sure exactly how to answer their question without knowing more information about the situation between you and your girlfriend however I can offer some general insight and guidance about relationships in general.

I would ask yourself why you want to work it out with her firstly. What makes you value this relationship and how does this relationship make your life better? I would sit down with a pen and paper and write down the ways that this relationship makes your life better and then write down all the ways that you would like things to change. Then I would take a good look at the things that need to change and realize that there is a strong chance that some or all of those things may never change and you will have to accept those things if you want to get back into this relationship and feel peaceful and comfortable.

The reality is that even with the best of intentions no one can guarantee that they will change and so we can't depend on that. We can hope for it and ask our partner to work on positive change along with us but ultimately we have to be able to accept things as they are right now when we are considering getting back into a relationship with someone.

Once you have made that determination then I would either end the relationship or ask your girlfriend to also write down the things that she would like to work toward changing and then the both of you develop a plan toward making actionable steps toward making those things happening. If the two of you are serious about making changes in the relationship, it will take time and effort. That may seem difficult and time consuming at first but will ultimately be worth it if you are determined to have a healthy and long lasting relationship.

I would also suggest couple's counseling where you can both work on these relationship goals with a trained professional. I wish you all the best!