What to do when marriage gets boring

It is easy to fall into a rut after years of marriage together. When we first get together with our partners, it is new and exciting, and you want to be with them all the time. As your relationship grows and your life starts to change, it is easy to get caught in old patterns of behavior because we get so caught up in the day-to-day routines of life. You wake up, go to work, come home, take care of your kids (if you have them), do the chores around the house, and by the time the day ends, you're exhausted, and you go to bed to get up and do it all over again.

It is important to recognize this kind of pattern of behavior in any relationship and understand the different ways to keep that spark fresh and new.  Communication is crucial in any healthy relationship. It is important to make sure you are talking to your partner every day. Set time aside for you both to check in with each other for at least 15-30 minutes per day. Spending time as a couple is very important. Set up a date night for just the two of you at least once a month. Find a new hobby that you both can do together. Ask your partner new questions. There is always something you can learn about each other [Amy (March 7) retrieved from https://thesavvysparrow.com/questions-to-ask-your-spouse-to-reconnect]. Surprise each other. You don’t just have to do things for a special occasion. Learn each other’s love language. It is important to meet your partner's needs but to do that; you must understand their love language. You can take this quick and easy quiz to find what your love language is [Retrieved from https://www.5lovelanguages.com/]. Make dinner together when you can or take some cooking classes together. If you like to eat, try and find a new restaurant that you both might like to try. If you feel like you are struggling to connect with your partner, be intentional in creating a bond. Talk about your past shared experiences together or plan new ones together. Learn to appreciate each other more. It is easy to always focus on the negative aspects of your partner, but what if you shared all of the things you appreciate about each other instead.

It is important to understand that marriage is a constant ebb and flow. It will not always be exciting and new. Couples need to understand how to grow together through different life phases. It is also important to recognize that although you are a couple, you are still individuals, and you do need time apart from doing things that you like to do by yourself. Marriage does not have to be boring, but it does take work on both parts to make your journey together feel renewed.