Why am i not good enough for anyone? Am i so difficult to be with?

Hello. Thank you for reaching out and asking your question.

I am so sorry that you are feeling so low and without confidence. One of the most pertinent sentences in your question for me is 'everyone tends to leave me'. I would use this as a focus for our first session as I think that this statement opens up so many questions that I would like to explore with you.

For example, you say you over-think things - so let's look at the reality of everyone 'leaving you' - is there evidence for this statement. Maybe you are focussing on relationships that did not work out, or maybe there are bereavements that you want to explore. Let's look at what actually happened to get you to the point that you are now.

The key element that this loss screams to me is trust. Feeling that people leave you and don't know the 'real' you - maybe this stems from not feeling able to truly trust others because if you truly trust others you are becoming vulnerable and they may leave. But if you don't trust others, you can't get close and they won't see the real you and you are unlikely to find a meaningful relationship. Can you see the cyclical pattern here? I would want to work with you to break this cycle of thinking as it is clearly meaning you feel unhappy and unfulfilled.  

I would also like to explore your attachment styles learnt as you were growing up - focusing on your relationships with your parents, and their relationship with each other. Often we model what we see as children so this would be an area to explore to look for insights into your current pattern of thinking.

Ultimately, in our sessions I would want to work on building up your self worth, your self esteem and your confidence and our shared goal would be to work together until you are at a point where you know that you can be your true self and be confident with that, without fear of rejection. You are good enough, you have always been good enough - now it is time to start trusting yourself and believing it!