Why am I so insecure in a perfectly healthy relationship?

This is perfectly normal. Sometimes, this relates back to our history in romantic and/or familial relationships. In healthy relationships, we often get comfortable, especially in those that feel the most safe and dependable. Comfort can feel like boredom, or picking fights for "no reason". In all, it's most important to remember your core values in being with the person and it takes work. It will take skill building so that we can work to change the behavior(s) that contribute to pushing away your boyfriend.

The goal is to modify our behaviors and work through the driving thoughts and emotions that may arise in these situations. Practicing skills in session, providing emotional support as I guide you through this learning journey, and overall working towards self-esteem building and well-being promotion will help.

It's so important to maintain our mindset as to why we are in the relationship and the role we play within that area of our lives. These are never the easiest to navigate, especially as other mentalities may arise due to past events or relationships that have impacted us negatively in the way we receive and give intimacy.

Working in session, I'd love to create the environment of collaboration, self-determination, self-worthiness, and overall the safe space to identify and explore the reasons behind the behaviors, so that change can progressively be made. Practice makes progress, and it never happens over night. The work we do in session will consist of work that is to be utilized and applied in your life so that you can begin to cope with these challenges more effectively.

Overall, coming up with goals and objectives for our work together is most critical as we begin to dive deeper in these barriers. Additionally, working through those feelings of why you want to push him away is something to continue to reflect on, as I would love to assist with that in therapy. These are workable, you have worth, you are deserving of a healthy, safe, and calm relationship, and that's something to hold onto.

Your partner's patience is always appreciated and that is definitely something I would encourage you to communicate, although I'm sure he knows you're grateful already, considering you're able to have this insight, reflect, and reach out to someone who can help guide you through this healing process.