How do I stop comparing myself to my boyfriend's ex-girlfriends and other girls he likes on socials?

Hello Mari:

I'm sorry you are struggling with these negative feelings.  I hope I can help you understand what may be causing these doubts and fears and discuss a little about how we may be able to change that.  Emotions and relationships can be a little tricky at times.  Discovering what causes us to feel and think some of what we do can be even trickier.  Our thoughts and emotions can be founded in so many ways.  Throughout life we all develop belief systems about ourselves and the world around us.  These belief systems are created according to our environment and experiences.  They can either be negative or positive depending on our perceptions of those experiences. 

Everyone's perceptions are different depending on the individual and, as a result, the outcome of those experiences will vary.  We are all so unique in so many ways.  All the relationships we encounter can also have a profound effect on us. They can alter the way we see ourselves as well as the confidence we have in how others see us and what they think which is so important as we all have that innate need to be accepted and find that place of belonging. 

As these belief systems develop, we take them in and out of all other relationships and this will, in turn, dictate how we see ourselves in those relationships and how we respond in various situations.  For example, what you currently experience in your relationship may be a feeling of inferiority toward other females that your partner may express as being attractive or maybe in situations where he hasn't expressed anything but rather your own self-image becomes the primary factor in you believing that there is someone else that he is more attracted to.  This likely could be why you experience the jealousy you are feeling.  You feel like someone else is receiving the attention and admiration that you feel belongs to you.

I feel that coming to a level of acceptance of self, identifying the positive characteristics you possess that attracted your partner to you, realizing the rationale behind why you see things and react to situations as you do at times may help in avoiding or at least minimizing the negative affects you feel.  This can lead to improved self-esteem and greater confidence in oneself which will improve your overall self-image.  I think re-evaluating and exploring the reasoning behind why you feel these negative emotions will be highly important in order to understand and gain control over how these things affect you.  By identifying these things, you will be able to understand, process and hopefully close the door on the negative and make room for the positive you will be discovering.  

Take Care