What are some ways to stop negative self talk?

Hello Jay,

It is unfortunate when others feel it necessary to reduce anyone to a single characteristic, be it a physical attribute or any other thing. The important thing is that you are seeking to break away from that limiting and inaccurate image of yourself. I suggest you also think of doing so without having to attach guilt, or blame or any other negative emotion to the process. Looking toward your freedom from that cycle of self-image thoughts is a very strong and positive move and I applaud you for asking this question and for knowing and believing you do not have to give that statement any more credence in your life.

I am also happy to hear that the procedure has helped you as far as your general health is concerned and that you feel much better physically because of it. That is important as well.

I would suggest you engage in a process called "thought-stopping" which may take some practice, but is very simple. If you realize first what may trigger that cycle of thoughts or the self-talk that was developed from being told that was all that was important about you, that will help in beginning the thought-stopping process. When you are stressed about other things, it may also be a trigger because it may be easier for those negative thoughts and words to begin. So practicing deliberate relaxation exercises and deep breathing, again, free and fairly simple to learn, can also be assets to this process.

I am attaching a link to an article about thought-stopping. I attach the whole thing even though it touches on pros and cons in order to also state that this is not an exercise in stuffing down emotions related to what you were told when young. Those may need to be dealt with in counseling and are valid feelings, but not from a valid representation of you. This is an exercise of carving away what no longer suits you, no longer helps you and never did represent you. You then can replace what you have abandoned with positive things that reinforce the many good things about you as a human being and an individual.

https://www.verywellmind.com/stop-technique-2671653

So, long and short, stop the train of unwanted negative thinking and ruminating on that phrase that does not help or define you, using the word STOP or anything else, in your head or out loud. Then a diversion if possible, get up an move around, get out of four walls if possible, change scenery, put on a favorite song, turn your attention to a favorite recent memory. replace the unwanted thought with things you do like to think of, or movement to start producing the "feel-good" hormones.

I hope you are able to start on this new process and replace the repetitious pattern that does not serve you well and is not needed. I also hope you are able to talk about feelings surrounding this and recognize the positive things that can make you happy.