Why do I always feel like I don’t belong anywhere work/ family functions/ learning new things

Janedoe,

Hello, it is very nice to meet you. Thank you for taking the time to write. You ask a wonderful question. If you and I were working together in therapy, I would want to know more about how you feel about yourself. I get the sense that you struggle with low self esteem, and struggle with feeling that you do not fit in. Much of this is coming from your perception of yourself.

If someone were to ask your friends or family about you, what would they say? Would they say any of these negative things that you think about yourself? My guess is that the answer would be no. They would say positive, kind things about you. Generally, we are more critical of ourselves than anyone else ever could be. 

Instead of thinking about and focusing on what you perceive to be your weaknesses and shortcomings, I ask you to think about and identify your strengths. When we think about ourselves in a negative light, that negative light casts a shadow on all parts of our lives. Changing that starts with you. The fact that you reached out and asked this question indicates to me that you do not like how things are going and that want a change in your life. 

With your new job, can you identify specifically what it is that you are struggling with. If things started out okay, what is it that changed? I would encourage you to focus on building self esteem and self worth. You are the only one who can change how you feel about yourself. Also, think about the things that you are good at. Take pride in the things that you do well. Ultimately, you are in control of your thoughts, feelings and actions. Change these negative, intrusive thoughts and you will change the feelings and actions. 

I would encourage you to speak with a therapist. They can help you work on these issues and help you identify a more positive way to think about yourself.I hope that you have found this information helpful and I wish you all the best moving forward on your journey.