What has happened to me? Because I don't know who i really am right now. Can you help me find myself?

Hi, thank you for your question, which is a common question many ask. How to improve your sleeping routine? So many factors contribute to why your sleep may be disrupted, and there are fundamental things you can begin doing to eliminate habits that might be disrupting your sleep. You also mentioned struggling to communicate, which is something I will help you to understand as well. I am sorry that you have felt the need to isolate yourself and feel alone because you cannot communicate your feelings in ways others understand. A lack of sleep can impact your ability to focus, process thoughts, and concentrate. 

First, anxiety and stress can harm your sleep schedule. Poor habits and stressful environments can make falling asleep and staying asleep difficult. Check your environments, such as lighting, room temperature, and noises, and reduce blue lighting. The blue light shifts your circadian rhythms when you use your phone or tablet later in the night. REM cycles start later, and we are less likely to reach extended REM sleep cycles. As a result of a disrupted sleep schedule, you may find that you're sleeping more than usual and still feeling exhausted. Or, you may find that you struggle to sleep at night. Either way, you may end up feeling tired and not having the energy you need to make other improvements in your life. Another factor is to consider your actual sleep schedule. What time do you sleep each night? Try to have a daily and nightly routine so that your body knows when it is time to rest. Go to bed around the same time each night, assess your environment and try to create and be consistent with the same daily routine. 

Another factor that may impact your sleep is ruminating at night when it is time to sleep. Rumination is when you replay different experiences and situations that have happened, and you fixate on them. You are playing out conversations and thinking about the things that have occurred, often with guilt, shame, judgment, and resentment. It's a fixation on things that happened, and doing this at night, adds anxiety and can leave you feeling restless. When we ruminate, our minds are repeatedly caught thinking about the negatives. If we think about the situation in a new way, we can sometimes stop the ruminative cycle.

One way to challenge rumination is using cognitive reappraisal. Cognitive reappraisal involves recognizing your thoughts' negative pattern and changing that pattern to one that is more effective. Instead of playing out this unpleasant, seemingly automatic cycle, take a moment to consider another perspective (reappraisal) you might have in this situation. In other words, am I seeing the worst-case scenario and all of the negatives, or am I acting impulsively with my feelings and drawing conclusions without all the evidence? What is another way to see this situation? So shifting your perspective to see if there is another possible outcome. 

You mentioned wanting to improve your communication and express yourself so that you are understood by those you care about. To communicate effectively, you have to first know what your needs are. Your emotions will tell you what you need. For example, if you feel rejected, your feelings tell you that you want to feel accepted. Take time to reflect on your feelings, recognize the need, and know your goal. By communicating what is your goal and expected outcome for the message you are trying to convey? These are questions to ask yourself before expressing your needs. Asking questions and learning is a good way to improve personal development and interpersonal relationships.

Thank you for your question, and I wish you well on your well-being journey.