Can you please guide me through life / work after reading my detailed situation down below?

Hello,

Thank you for describing your concerns. Therapy is a great place to start. Therapy can help you work through and process your emotions. A therapist can offer support and validation, as well, as help you problem-solve or work on goals. Therapy can help you decrease stress and anxiety. 

You have very reasonable goals. Being a teacher can be challenging. It's ok to lean on a support system. Perhaps getting to know your coworkers or engaging in activities outside of work may be helpful. Some ideas may be inviting a coworker to lunch or a happy hour. You may want to adopt a theme to make the work week more fun like having tacos on Tuesday or donuts on Fridays. Bonding with the coworkers may help you feel more connected. They can validate you as they are probably feeling some of the same stressors. 

Instead of saying you are an imposter, you may want to think of yourself as a student. An imposter sounds like you are "faking" something. You are not faking. You are embracing your career. Try to see yourself as a student. You are learning. You aren't supposed to know everything in the beginning, but you are working hard and figuring it out as you go. 

Avoid comparing yourself to others. Comparison sends a message to your brain that whatever you are doing is not good enough. The brain is easily influenced and will quit trying to find solutions. This may be why you are procrastinating. You have already convinced your brain that you are behind and your friends are way ahead. Instead of saying you are behind, tell yourself "They are on a different path. I'm working on my own path."

What you say to yourself can affect how you feeling. Negative thoughts often lead to negative feelings. Try to counteract your negative thoughts with a positive mantra. Some examples are:

"This is a new challenge, but I'll figure it out." 

"I'm working at my own pace. I always find solutions." 

"I'm a hard worker. I know I can do this." 

"I'm gaining experience every day." 

"I'm in the right place at the right time." 

In order to stay focused, identify your peak performance time. Every person as a certain time of day where they feel more alert and productive. Some people are night owls and enjoy staying up late to get things done. Other people are more active in the morning. See when you feel the most alert and try to schedule time during this time frame to work on your goals and your side hustle. Schedule a designated work time for yourself without distractions. Decide to work for a solid 30 minutes without interruptions. Turn off alerts, notifications, etc. Put your phone away. Do not check emails or messages until your 30 minutes is up. When your time is up, take a break. During your break time, you can check your messages. Allow for a few minutes to do these things and them return to work for another 30 minutes.

When doing chores, breaking tasks into smaller pieces. For example, if you want to clean the kitchen, break the tasks down. Start with one particular area or task, like doing the dishes. Focus on the dishes and complete this task before starting a new one. Next, work on a different task in the kitchen, like taking the trash out or wiping down the counters. Allow for breaks in between tasks if needed. 

Most importantly, be kind to yourself. Be patient. Trust and believe in yourself.