Ask a therapist > Stress > How do I get my thoughts organized?

How do I get my thoughts organized?

I find that words others say has a huge impact on me, like I seek validation from them. I can’t start off on projects because I want them to be perfect
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Asked by Ama
Stress
Anxiety
Answered
05/19/2022
Hi Ama,
 
My name is Juli-Ann, and I am a licensed therapist (license number LMHC MH 15094). Let me first applaud you for reaching out for help. 
 
Seeking validation from external sources is not bad; however, identifying why there is a need to be validated is the question we need to answer. The negative impact of not being validated often comes from not being validated within one's household growing up. Usually, this occurs when mom or dad never encourages or affirms the child about how good they are doing and the aspects of continuing to be better and striving for success. 
 
Learning to identify the source for where this started and how it has affected one's life is essential. While recognizing this source is good, it is also necessary to identify what processing method needs to be in place to address this matter. Implementing coping skills to process the stressors is ideally essential, while continual processing with a licensed clinician to address further issues. It's hard to complete a project, because it appears you need the encouragement to do so. This comes from the validation you receive from others.
 
Some of the benefits of completing therapy include a better understanding of your current concerns, overcoming past trauma, and achieving goals that you will set; while gaining healthy coping skills to cope with the everyday stressors you will identify during the process. Another benefit is having someone/ the therapist as your sounding board to help you while you process your concerns. 
 
As a therapist here on BetterHelp I have learned that no one person is alike. With this I utilize various techniques to help my clients identify their chief complaints while setting realistic goals that are not only attainable but also achievable. Some of the therapeutic techniques I utilize includes; Cognitive Behavioral Therapy (CBT), Solution Focus, Reality Therapy etc. 
 
I hope you decide to continue this journey in seeking help. This will be the best decision you make for yourself and the results can only lead to great success. I am looking forward to working with or hearing from you. Thank you for reaching out with your question.
 
Kind Regards
Juli-Ann
(LMHC, CCATP)