How do I stop holding my breath unconsciously?

Hi Minimi,

I am so glad that you reached out with your question. That was a significant step toward beginning to feel better. I am very sorry to hear of the loss of your dear friend. You have undergone a significant amount of loss and change recently and it is very natural and normal to be experiencing some stress and anxiety in response. The physical symptoms you have been experiencing are your body's way of letting you know that your emotional well-being needs some attention. There are a number of things that you can do to manage your stress and begin feeling better.

Because this is such a stressful time, it is particularly vital to tend to your self care needs. This includes things like getting adequate rest, fueling your body with healthy and nutrient dense foods, and getting regular exercise. It is equally important to tend to your mental and emotional needs while under this stress.

Therapy could be very helpful in processing your feelings of grief and adjusting to the changes that have occurred in your life. There are a variety of options available for therapy ranging from in person to teletherapy on sites like BetterHelp that allow you to get therapy in the comfort of your own home and a schedule that suits you. A licensed clinician can provide support and guidance and help you develop coping skills to manage your stress.       

Alternative or adjunctive approaches can also be very beneficial to healing the body and mind. Things like massage, acupuncture and yoga are all associated with a reduction of stress. Take some time to explore and discover what works best for you.

This is also a great time to explore relaxation techniques and meditation that can be done on your own. Time spent in nature can be very healing and allow your soul to replenish. Sometimes it can be helpful if you find yourself tensing up to take a few slow, deep breaths in as if you are smelling flowers and then release as if you were blowing candles out on a birthday cake. Progressive muscle relaxation is also something you can do on your own and there are a number of videos to guide you readily available online. 

Most importantly, Minimi, be gentle with yourself. You have endured a great deal in a short period of time. You can begin to feel better and it will be a process, one that might even provide a greater sense of peace and fulfillment than you had before. I wish you all the best as you begin your healing journey.