How to deal with the stress of life?

Coping

You are in an interesting spot. It's unfortunate that your circumstance has left you having to work so hard to accomplish what you want. It would be nice to have the safety and support of the child's father or the liquid assets of a better-paying job. It would be nice, I bet, if many things were different. Yet, here we are, in our situation, looking for help in what to do when we struggle with staying motivated, feeling good about ourselves, being supported, being able to rest, etc. Whatever we lack daily, we usually wish for that thing, thinking all would be so different if we had it. 

Coping isn't always just a way to manage emotions, it can be found in how we view situations in our life. Coping is also choosing to see the gift we have in our struggles. It is a coping skill to be truly grateful for our situation, even if it was, at one point, something we thought was holding us back. 

Here's an interesting thing about parenting. You prepare your children for the life they will have growing up. Parents are the elements of the environment where the mind is formed and will forever hold beliefs about self, others, environment, safety, healthy attachment, and the like. People seek therapy due to the failures, shortcomings, and effects of distractions from parents who were unable to give the kids what they needed to feel safe and thrive. We require a safe environment to grow into our personal, autonomous selves.

Your hard work is worth it in more ways than you can imagine. You are not only trying to make a better life for yourself and your kids, but you are modeling something for your kids that they will also reproduce in a certain way in their life and later with their spouses. You have the opportunity to find ways to genuinely appreciate the pain and demonstrate gratitude around the kids, or you could complain and be angry. You could surround yourself with people that allow you to complain, and even fuel it. You could do that, but then the kids will do that too. 

Your coping then is found in applying what you notice in situations to your choice in how you hold it. Your formation of grit in your current season will be unmatched in your career. Now, as long as you don't internalize being a victim and want the world to give you what you might feel entitled to, or form some greater thought because of what you went through, you will give all this energy someday to your career, and build your way into financial freedom and a better life for your kids, etc. 

DO NOT look to coping as complaining. Look to coping as accepting and therefore empowering. The more you accept your life and the circumstances, find little pockets of joy, and stay mindful of the task at hand, you will gain confidence and won't have to scream from the rooftops so that everyone can validate you. Your determination, grit, and life experience will be obvious to those who meet you because you will become someone who lived through things coming out grateful for it. 

Imagine that, this situation is something you are grateful for the experience. And your kids will be raised by a mom who modeled that you work for things you want in life and you earn what you take. You are giving your kids a lesson unlike any public or affluent school could provide. Practice finding areas you can be grateful for, which will stop your emotions from building up and overriding all your hard work.