Looking for life advice- struggling with marriage and career.

Thank you for reaching out for some feedback. You sound like you already have an idea of what you need, and having someone outside of your life to process that will can make a lot of difference. Finances and life shifts can absolutely put additional pressures on a marriage and add stress that maybe was not there before. Depending on how you cope and communicate with your partner about it all (and how they do in response) can either help or make the situation worse. 

Here are some things to consider for the time being, but I highly encourage you to seek a counselor who you can process these topics more so with and also who can support you and give you tools to elevate your life. 

- communication: As I mentioned, communication style about stressful topics can make all the difference. When we are stressed, sometimes we don't convey emotions well and can seem aggressive or overly defensive in conversations. Not only can this topic focus on how you communicate, but also how you react to communication. In a partnership you have to focus on how you react and how you communicate needs. Your partner has to do their own exploration to shift and change, you cannot do that for them. 

-coping: Again, as I mentioned. This topic can help or make a situation worse. There are a lot of really great ways of coping with stress and difficult times, but for every healthy positive coping skill there are negative ones. An example would be avoidance. Sometimes avoidance is a helpful skill, but long term it typically is not. If your way of coping with financial struggles or marriage issues is to avoid the topic, that fire is going to continue to grow. There are a lot of other examples I could offer, but that paints the picture of how coping can be hurtful to the issue. Having healthy coping can be a real life saver. 

-externalizing that internal stress: This is vague I know, but sometimes our internal stress can be caused by external things and in turn, our internal stress creates external stress. Stress is the trash of the mind, so doing something external with it can help. Organizing, time management, brain dumps, and making some sense of that stress can help to "take out the trash." Coming up with a plan with your partner about finances, managing time better, dividing responsibilities, setting goals, to dos and steps-- all of those things can help to reduce the anxiety and noise in the mind. The angst that builds up from "not knowing" can easily be reduced by doing this a bit. 

I hope this helps a little, but again, I encourage you to set time aside to meet with someone to help you process this stuff and also help you navigate it. Best of luck!