What is best way to move forward from your past trauma?

Hello Blackjack,

I am glad you have reached out for some help with managing your past trauma.  I can see that it is negatively affecting your life and your relationships.   People who experience trauma will very often turn to alcohol and other substances to help manage or dull the powerful flood of any emotion and traumatic prompts and pokes. You may be also using alcohol to try to numb out your feelings. Drugs and alcohol may indeed initially dull out those trauma memories and help manage connected suffering and stress, but what can happen is that a dangerous sequence can often begin.

It is not unusual for me to hear that you participate in drinking alcohol to deal with anxiety, depression, and any irritability or anger.  I hear often that typically, alcohol initially seems to relieve these symptoms for people who have gone through traumatic life events. When you experience a traumatic event, the brain releases a chemical called endorphins that may be helping you to numb any physical and emotional pain of your trauma event/s.   This is your body naturally helping you cope with the pain caused by your trauma.

However, this intrudes with the natural shielding purpose the body was already doing. As a result, we produce a type of emotional withdrawal that can set us up to deal with increased and lengthy suffering and stress that can often lead to the advance of a posttraumatic stress situation.

It is important for you to know that drinking alcohol may have been your “solution or strategy” you turned to, but it seems that this is now making things worse for you in your life.   So it will be necessary to work towards reducing your alcohol use and find more effective solutions that do not damage your relationships and your life overall.

Drinking alcohol can sometimes contribute to PTSD indicators and thus increase irritability, depression, and feeling off guard. Some people will drink to deal with insomnia that comes from anxiety, anticipating any nightmares/flashbacks, and overthinking. Drinking alcohol actually weakens the quality of your sleep, however, even setting you up for a damaging and unhelpful cycle. Trying to dodge memories of trauma can make them emerge in your sleep. Drinking alcohol also can often make therapy less effective because you are not permitting yourself to successfully deal with trauma in a safe, strong setting with a qualified professional.

People who use substances may be less able to cope with a traumatic event. They may have increased difficulty with emotional and behavioral regulation. When chemical use starts, development gets significantly impaired. As an outcome, you may be more likely to engage in risky behaviors that can lead to further trauma.

The mixture of trauma and drinking alcohol can increase challenges related to getting close to people and having struggles with the people you do have a relationship with. Weighty drinking can often lead to a confused and messy life. The very thing you need is that support and connection, yet as you are now experiencing is damaged as a result of your drinking and the consequential behaviors.

A specialist therapist knows drinking is generally not actually THE problem. It is usually a symptom of another problem.  And for you, as you already have identified that the problem is trauma. In such cases, drinking alcohol is not generally about having fun. It is about managing your pain of the trauma you are dealing with.

Just so you know effective handling of trauma does not mean you have to talk about what has happened in your life. A therapist does not need you to reexperience your trauma. That probably happens enough for you too often!  A specialized trauma therapist will focus more on how it is affecting you today and how it is impacting your life now.

Drinking alcohol may have been your “solution” that you turned to, but it seems that it is really making things worse in your life. There are many other, more effective ways to deal with the past other than drinking.  It is difficult to do this on your own so I would strongly suggest you reach out for specialized help to find better coping strategies for you.  Skills that your close loved ones will see are making a difference in your life and in theirs too!

I hope you take the next step and reach out for some help with what you have gone through in your life.  There is hope and there is help available for you.

BetterHelp has specialized licensed professional therapists to help you navigate your trauma in a safe and effective way. With the right support and your willingness to put in the hard work and remain committed to your recovery you can make progress and create the changes in your life that you desire.

The online platform may be a good option for you to feel safer in your own environment. 

I hope you are able to reach out for the help you need and deserve so that you can enjoy a happy and healthy future.

In Kindness,

Gaynor