Overview

Day-to-day life can be filled with stressful events, positive or negative. Things like marriage, divorce, losing a job or starting a career, having a child, and the death of a loved one can cause significant feelings of grief, anxiety, or distress and coping involves adjusting to unusual demands, or stressors. People use conscious or unconscious strategies to reduce unpleasant emotions.  Coping mechanisms are a way for people to handle these uncomfortable emotions. 

Many people use the terms coping mechanism and defense mechanism interchangeably, and although there are some similarities, these are two different things. A coping strategy is often a conscious action to manage a stressful situation. A defense mechanism, on the other hand, is typically an automatic and subconscious response to stress that can change a person’s psychological state.

Coping mechanisms behaviors that aim to avoid stress or unpleasant emotions may be classified as active or avoidant. An active coping mechanism refers to a response in which a person is aware of their stress and is taking action to change the situation or their response. Avoidant mechanisms are when an individual ignores a situation that’s causing stress. There are many types of coping mechanisms such as social coping, which may be helpful or harmful depending on how they’re used.

How they work

While stress can be a drive for positive action, it can still have the potential to trigger negative thoughts and feelings. The sympathetic nervous system creates the “fight or flight” reaction in the body, triggering common stress response symptoms such as increased heart rate, heightened awareness, shallow and rapid breathing, and blood glucose retention. 

These physical and mental responses evolved as temporary reactions to danger and are a vital part of human behavior. However, with chronic1 stress, the body can continue to respond as though in immediate crisis when none exists. Chronic stress can lead to symptoms like anhedonia, feelings of anxiety or depression, gastric distress, body aches, and disrupted sleep. 

Whether aware of it or not, many people use coping mechanisms to manage these symptoms. A person may talk to a friend, go for a run, or drink alcohol to cope. These actions may be intentional or simply a learned reaction that people use to deal with stressful situations. A person who implements harmful coping skills can learn through training or therapy to find beneficial replacements. 

Many coping strategies aren’t practical for an extended period. Typically, ineffective coping mechanisms become unhelpful in daily life. Often, there are consequences associated with maladaptive coping mechanisms, so it’s helpful to do your best to work on implementing adaptive coping mechanisms instead.

 

Common coping mechanisms

There are two types of coping mechanisms: adaptive and maladaptive. Adaptive mechanisms refer to options like talking to a friend when feeling stressed. Maladaptive coping mechanisms are often harmful and include things like excessive drinking or taking drugs to address stress. 

Adaptive coping mechanisms

Some other adaptive coping mechanisms include:

  • Journaling
  • Completing deep breathing exercises
  • Meditation
  • Exercising
  • Taking a bubble bath
  • Humor
  • Positive thinking
  • Reading
  • Therapy 
  • Spending time in nature
  • Practice slow, deep breathing

Maladaptive coping mechanisms

Maladaptive coping mechanisms include things like:

  • Social isolation
  • Ignoring or avoiding stressful situations that should be addressed
  • Using drugs or alcohol
  • Self-harm
  • Negative thoughts
  • Binge eating 
  • Risky behavior 
  • Escaping into video games, TV, or social media

Neutral behaviors

Some behaviors used as coping mechanisms, the patterns or actions people use to deal with unusually stressful situations, may be neutral, such as playing video games or eating. They become potentially harmful when used in a way that becomes unhealthy for mental health. Maladaptive coping may be seen more often in individuals who have experienced childhood abuse or trauma.

 

Techniques

Coping skills can be problem-focused coping or emotion-focused coping. As the name suggests, the intent of problem-focused coping is to take action to change or eliminate the source of stress. The use of problem-solving skills to reduce stress can be a helpful approach for an individual with some control over their stressful situation. 

Here are a few examples of problem-focused coping: 

Scenario 1: Your child is having difficulty in school, causing stress at home.

Problem-focused coping skills to address this can include:

  • Schedule a meeting with your child’s teacher or teachers to help determine problem areas.
  • Sit down with your child and ask what kind of support they need.
  • Create a schedule with your partner to take turns on “homework duty” with your child.

Scenario 2: Fighting within a friend group is causing stress. 

Problem-focused coping skills to address this can include:

  • Setting boundaries with your friends regarding negative talk about others
  • Attempting reconciliation between the fighting parties
  • Avoiding events that are likely to trigger problems 

Scenario 3: You’re worrying about an important upcoming test.

Problem-focused coping skills to address this can include:

  • Creating a study schedule that allows for plenty of rest time
  • Getting plenty of sleep the night before the test 
  • Using meditation or breathing exercises before the test to calm the mind

Emotion-focusing techniques

Not all stressful situations can be addressed by solving a problem, though. Emotion-focused coping allows a person to cope with feelings of fear and anxiety, even when they’re unable to control a stressful situation. Here are some examples of emotion-focused coping techniques. 

Scenario 1: A loved one is diagnosed with a chronic illness.

Emotion-focused coping skills to address this can include:

  • Become informed on the illness, gathering info from trusted sources.
  • Journal. 
  • Maintain an active social circle, and talk to friends when you need to; you may also choose to join a support group.

Scenario 2: Living with a community-wide or large-scale event like a natural disaster or pandemic.

Emotion-focused coping skills to address this can include:

  • Maintaining an active social circle under different circumstances (for example, online meetups during the COVID-19 pandemic)
  • Prioritizing self-care practices when possible
  • Providing social support to others

Improving coping mechanisms

Many people may use maladaptive coping mechanisms in reaction to stressful situations. However, with some education and practice, adaptive coping strategies can become easier. Here are some techniques you can use to develop beneficial coping skills. 

  • Learn to identify stressors: We may become stressed and unsure of what’s causing it. When you can pinpoint the root of the stress, finding coping mechanisms to address it may become easier. 
  • Identify how you’re currently coping: How do you react to stress? Are your coping mechanisms adaptive or maladaptive? If maladaptive, it may be time to find some replacements. 
  • Experiment with new options: Identify several coping mechanisms that seem like they may be effective for you. Try them and take note of which are the most helpful. 
  • Use repetition: Build your new coping skills into habits by making them a part of your schedule. Take an evening walk or complete a morning meditation whether or not you’re experiencing stress. 
  • Reach out: Therapy can be an excellent way to learn new ways to cope with stress. 

Seeking support from a therapist

It can be challenging to make changes, especially for those who have been using maladaptive coping strategies for years or have had traumatic experiences in their past. A licensed therapist can guide the process and help you learn new positive coping skills, strategies people often use in the face of stress and/or trauma to help manage painful or stressful situations. Cognitive behavioral therapy (CBT) can be especially effective for stress management. 

In some areas, specialized therapy can be challenging to find. Online therapy can be a solution for those experiencing disparity by allowing anyone with an internet connection to work with a therapist.

Associated terms

Updated on September 27, 2024.
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